Dear Stalkers

Why is it that every girl, or mostly every girl that I have befriended or encountered has had an awkward stalker story to tell?

Even the most, how do I say this in a nice way --the most irritating, repulsive and uncanny kind of girls have had stalkers. But one stalker doesn't seem to suffice for these kind of girls because they usually end up having two or more.

I would like to share stories in which creepy guys give me random mix CDs, follow me around in their personalized licensed plate car, ask my parents for my hand in marriage/propose to me on facebook or just shower me with presents.

I just want a "stalker" for the purpose of entertaining my friends mostly, because lately that's what my life's purpose has been ...to keep my friends entertained and laughing.

So, here's my memo to anyone out there.

Dear Stalker,

Am I some kind of a stalker repellent? Just what is it?

Please let me have those disturbing memories and stories to share.

Yours truly.